As if the new age dating world was not superficial and scary enough, Tinder has tipped it over the edge. The dating app matches potential daters based solely on a handful of pictures. Pretty pictures earn you a swipe yes. Creepy pictures get you a swipe no. It is shallow, mindless and a waste of time.
Unfortunately, I am a Tinder addict.
And so to all of you fellow Tinder fans out there – here is my first cautionary tale:
Tinder Lesson #1 – Stay in the game long enough to learn his last name.
I met Mr. Over Share on an idle Wednesday. He appeared normal and groomed in picture #1, not a bad start. Next, he was standing arm in arm with his adorable niece. Armed with my promising (and limited) information, I swiped yes and we were a match. Mr. Over Share instantly messaged me and filled in all my question marks. Single? Check. Employed? Check. We even shared the same quirky hobbies. I smiled up at the Tinder gods as we continued chatting about all we had in common. Our plans to meet fell through but we messaged throughout the week .Then things got weird.
My phone beeped.
“I wish you were here right now with me.”
A little forward for a complete stranger. My gut questioned this character, I tried to remain open minded.
“What are you wearing?”
My gut smirked.
And for the grand finale the next message informed me that he was busy taking care of his um needs right in the midst of our Tinder session. Ick. And then he innocently asked,
Um yeah I would say so. My next Tinder match put Mr. Over Share to shame. He informed me before we even traded last names that his mom’s last spanking session occurred within this decade. The details made me queasy. He apparently chose this endearing memory as his go to tidbit for the ladies.
So I have yet to play the live version of this creepy yet addicting game but when I do, you will be the first to know. More tales to follow.